He burned through his yearly allotment of 50 interlibrary loan requests months ago. He complained about that. A lot. You know, maybe I'd feel bad about it if he needed books or articles for research of some sort, but I just can't bring myself to care when all he's doing is ripping CDs onto his computer.
Soon after he submitted his 50th ILL request, he started filling out our "Suggestions for Purchase" forms. At first, he would submit 5-10 requests every couple weeks. Only days after submitting a request, he would start to complain that we hadn't purchased the CDs yet. We told him we place an AV order once a month, then it takes time to get the items shipped to the library and listed in the catalog.
This apparently didn't register, as he started to submit the same requests in multiple manners: via paper forms, dropped into the suggestion box; via paper forms, handed to staff at the reference desk; via paper forms, handed to staff at the youth services desk; via our online comments form; via the library's main email address; and via several staff members' personal email addresses. Did he think we wouldn't know they were all his requests? Just how many of our patrons does he think want the complete Cheap Trick catalog?
It eventually got so ridiculous that we were getting requests for the same CD up to 4 times a week. The kicker? Half of these CDs weren't even out yet. And we're not getting them fast enough? C'mon, Disturbed, get that CD out faster, man! It's for the library! Right.
So we told him to stop. Completely. And he did.
For approximately two weeks. Then we started getting requests for the exact same CDs, in various poor attempts at disguised handwriting. Are we supposed to be that dumb? Really?
So we told him to stop. Again. And he told us it's a free country so he's going to submit as many requests as he wants. Well, gosh, he sure showed us.
So now he's mailing his requests to the library, with someone else's name written in the return address spot on the envelope. If he keeps up with this, he's probably going to waste enough money on stamps to buy several of these CDs he so desperately wants.
And I don't feel bad about that at all.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Lovely Patrons
This week's fun included but was not limited to:
He started yelling at me, waving printouts in my face, totally out of the blue. What was he upset about? He bought something online with his debit card. He had an email receipt for said purchase. His bank claims the transaction never took place. Somehow that's the library's problem because he used our computers to make his purchase. Then because we wouldn't fix it for him, for the rest of the day he refused to speak with us and just stood at the desk waving his arms around angrily whenever he wanted something.
She told me she needed me to do her homework for her. Why? Because she's partially deaf, has a learning disability, has had several strokes, cannot use a computer, and works 50-60 hours/week. It doesn't help that her assignment states that she should go to the public library for help accessing course materials online.
He's been a regular for years. He comes to the library every day at opening and leaves at closing. He photocopies numerous newspaper articles and prints out gazillions of weather and climate maps. He's friendly and polite and always pays for his printouts. It's weird that he spends so much time here, but we've never had any problems with him. Until this week when he started making sexual comments to another patron and showing her sexually explicit cartoons.
But my husband's got me beat for loveliest customer of the week (he owns a small specialty shop several blocks away from the library):
They call him "The Genius" because he's told them the professors at Big State University say he is one. He's got very long hair, which he wraps around his head like a ball of yarn and sticks a baseball cap on top of to keep it in place. He says Stalin's daughter used to live in this city. Her name is Stalina. She was causing all of the crime in the neighborhood she lived in by using her psychic powers on people. The Genius told the police this, but they didn't believe him. They only started listening to him after he saved the police chief's life. But Stalina moved out of the city and now lives in a neighboring county. She's still using her psychic powers, but now she's causing car crashes. She can no longer cause crime here because the KGB is located in Expensive City Neighborhood, and they also have psychic powers, which cancel out Stalina's now that she lives outside of the city.
It's hard to believe The Genius isn't a known library patron!
He started yelling at me, waving printouts in my face, totally out of the blue. What was he upset about? He bought something online with his debit card. He had an email receipt for said purchase. His bank claims the transaction never took place. Somehow that's the library's problem because he used our computers to make his purchase. Then because we wouldn't fix it for him, for the rest of the day he refused to speak with us and just stood at the desk waving his arms around angrily whenever he wanted something.
She told me she needed me to do her homework for her. Why? Because she's partially deaf, has a learning disability, has had several strokes, cannot use a computer, and works 50-60 hours/week. It doesn't help that her assignment states that she should go to the public library for help accessing course materials online.
He's been a regular for years. He comes to the library every day at opening and leaves at closing. He photocopies numerous newspaper articles and prints out gazillions of weather and climate maps. He's friendly and polite and always pays for his printouts. It's weird that he spends so much time here, but we've never had any problems with him. Until this week when he started making sexual comments to another patron and showing her sexually explicit cartoons.
But my husband's got me beat for loveliest customer of the week (he owns a small specialty shop several blocks away from the library):
They call him "The Genius" because he's told them the professors at Big State University say he is one. He's got very long hair, which he wraps around his head like a ball of yarn and sticks a baseball cap on top of to keep it in place. He says Stalin's daughter used to live in this city. Her name is Stalina. She was causing all of the crime in the neighborhood she lived in by using her psychic powers on people. The Genius told the police this, but they didn't believe him. They only started listening to him after he saved the police chief's life. But Stalina moved out of the city and now lives in a neighboring county. She's still using her psychic powers, but now she's causing car crashes. She can no longer cause crime here because the KGB is located in Expensive City Neighborhood, and they also have psychic powers, which cancel out Stalina's now that she lives outside of the city.
It's hard to believe The Genius isn't a known library patron!
Monday, July 14, 2008
From Last Friday
A patron told me they should make a slapstick romantic comedy starring Brett Favre and Hillary Clinton.
Wha???
Wha???
It's On, Are You?
Nice Lady: Can you help me get this? [holds up a piece of paper with a Web address on it]
Me: You want to look at that website?
NL: It's for a class.
Me: Okay, well you can choose any open computer and I can help you get to that website if you would like.
NL: Okay. [finds a computer and sits down] Do you have any paper? I want to write down what you tell me.
Me: Good idea. Let me go find some. [people's inability to print just the pages they want assures that we have a constant supply of scratch paper]
NL: This is for a class. What do I do?
Me: You get started by clicking on the Internet browser button. [points to it on the screen]
NL: Click on it?
Me: Yes, with the mouse. [points to the mouse]
NL: Let me write that down. [writes very, very slowly] This is for a class.
Me: Okay, you click on that gray box with the globe on it, the Internet browser button, with the mouse. [demonstrates moving the mouse]
NL: Don't I have to turn the computer on first?
Me: Errrr, it's already on...
Me: You want to look at that website?
NL: It's for a class.
Me: Okay, well you can choose any open computer and I can help you get to that website if you would like.
NL: Okay. [finds a computer and sits down] Do you have any paper? I want to write down what you tell me.
Me: Good idea. Let me go find some. [people's inability to print just the pages they want assures that we have a constant supply of scratch paper]
NL: This is for a class. What do I do?
Me: You get started by clicking on the Internet browser button. [points to it on the screen]
NL: Click on it?
Me: Yes, with the mouse. [points to the mouse]
NL: Let me write that down. [writes very, very slowly] This is for a class.
Me: Okay, you click on that gray box with the globe on it, the Internet browser button, with the mouse. [demonstrates moving the mouse]
NL: Don't I have to turn the computer on first?
Me: Errrr, it's already on...
Friday, July 11, 2008
Do You Want Some Lettuce?
I broke my normal rule of "don't accept food from patrons" today. The guy had a bag of organic, home-grown lettuce, and he needed to get rid of it before it went bad. Apparently his garden overfloweth with produce.
And then he told me he's seen me before, and that I must have been working here for 10 years or so (try 4). Although it does kind of feel like 10 sometimes...
I didn't tell him that I'm going to feed the lettuce to my pet guinea pigs.
And then he told me he's seen me before, and that I must have been working here for 10 years or so (try 4). Although it does kind of feel like 10 sometimes...
I didn't tell him that I'm going to feed the lettuce to my pet guinea pigs.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Little Things This Week
Someone at the circ desk sent her down to the ref desk to ask if the library's security gates would damage her digital camera if she brought it in, because "the person down there is a computer expert." Thanks, circ desk!
He thinks he should get a longer loan period on his ILL (5 weeks minimum!) because he's a doctor and pays lots of taxes and has to drive 3 hours to get here, and he makes sure the whole library hears him yelling at the circ clerk and then at me. I Google him and find out he's a retired professor of finance.
She's demanding to talk to my coworker, who is not scheduled to be on desk today, because she needs his help with burning a CD. I tell her she'll have to wait until he's on desk next, which will be tomorrow, and offer her my help instead, but she declines because she's sure I wouldn't know how to help her. I don't feel bad about her having to wait until tomorrow to burn her CD.
Someone at the youth services desk sent a kid down for a book. I find it for her, but it's a Simpsons philosophy compilation and she wants Simpsons comics, so she's very disappointed and says coming downstairs was "a complete waste of time." Thanks, youth services desk!
He wants my help obtaining a Russian bride over the Internet. He's got one all picked out, but he can't figure out how to pay for her.
She wants local addresses for national airlines. She has been looking for a job for a long time and finally found the perfect one. On the other side of the country. It will be financially difficult for her to go there for an interview. So her plan is to write letters to the airlines asking for free or reduced airfare. She thinks a local office will be more likely to listen to her pleas. She's planning on writing hotels too, since she can't afford that either.
He's complaining about getting leg cramps from sitting at our computers too long. He has been here for hours. He says if he's having this problem at age 30, he doesn't want to know what age 40 will bring. Then he asks how late we're open and is happy to know he can stay for 3 more hours.
(In related news, someone slipped a comment into our suggestion box complaining that there are people who are here too much, sometimes even all day. The director noted that you wouldn't know who's here all day if you're not here all day too.)
He thinks he should get a longer loan period on his ILL (5 weeks minimum!) because he's a doctor and pays lots of taxes and has to drive 3 hours to get here, and he makes sure the whole library hears him yelling at the circ clerk and then at me. I Google him and find out he's a retired professor of finance.
She's demanding to talk to my coworker, who is not scheduled to be on desk today, because she needs his help with burning a CD. I tell her she'll have to wait until he's on desk next, which will be tomorrow, and offer her my help instead, but she declines because she's sure I wouldn't know how to help her. I don't feel bad about her having to wait until tomorrow to burn her CD.
Someone at the youth services desk sent a kid down for a book. I find it for her, but it's a Simpsons philosophy compilation and she wants Simpsons comics, so she's very disappointed and says coming downstairs was "a complete waste of time." Thanks, youth services desk!
He wants my help obtaining a Russian bride over the Internet. He's got one all picked out, but he can't figure out how to pay for her.
She wants local addresses for national airlines. She has been looking for a job for a long time and finally found the perfect one. On the other side of the country. It will be financially difficult for her to go there for an interview. So her plan is to write letters to the airlines asking for free or reduced airfare. She thinks a local office will be more likely to listen to her pleas. She's planning on writing hotels too, since she can't afford that either.
He's complaining about getting leg cramps from sitting at our computers too long. He has been here for hours. He says if he's having this problem at age 30, he doesn't want to know what age 40 will bring. Then he asks how late we're open and is happy to know he can stay for 3 more hours.
(In related news, someone slipped a comment into our suggestion box complaining that there are people who are here too much, sometimes even all day. The director noted that you wouldn't know who's here all day if you're not here all day too.)
Monday, June 16, 2008
You Drove Here?
A woman approaches the reference desk...
Woman: I was told you could help me. [usually not a good sign, that statement is, and her speech is slurred to boot--also not good]
Me: Okay, what do you need help with?
Woman: I need my credit report. They said you could get it for me. [oh, "they" did, did they?]
Me: We certainly have computers you can use to request your credit report online if--
Woman: I already tried to do it on the computer, at home, but it didn't work! [she's starting to get loud] They said you could just give it to me!
Me: The library doesn't have access to your credit report, but you're welcome to apply for your credit report on our computers. What didn't work when you tried at home?
Woman: It wanted a postal code! I didn't know what that was! So I called the post office and they didn't know either! They told me to come to the library because you would know and be able to give me my credit report! [thanks a lot, post office]
Me: Well, I think a postal code is just your zip code--
Woman: I tried that! I tried the long one and the short one and neither worked! I just want my credit report and I don't understand why it has to be this hard! It's just a credit report! [she's leaning heavily on the reference desk, and I'm hoping she doesn't fall over] And I tried to call the credit thing, but their number is disconnected!
I manage to get her onto a computer to fill out the free credit report request form. I can't smell alcohol on her, but I'm starting to wonder what's in the opaque water bottle she's clutching.
About 45 minutes pass, and she's standing at the printer...
Woman: What's wrong with this thing? It's not doing it!
Me: It's not printing? Hmm, there's nothing in the queue and it's not out of paper. Let's take a look at your computer.
Woman: I filled it out twice!
I'm able to figure out that she filled out most of the form, but never scrolled down to finish filling out the form and click to continue on to the next page. Unfortunately, she clicked on something else that took her away from the form and erased everything she already entered. She has done this twice. I suggest filling out the paper form and mailing it in, but she decides to try online again.
At the shift change, I tell my replacement that the woman's on her third attempt to request her credit report online. I had gone ahead and printed out the paper form, and I suggest that he try to convince her to take it home and mail it in if she's unsuccessful again with the computer.
I get back from dinner...
Me: So did that woman ever get her credit report?
Replacement: No, she lost the whole thing again. She was completely sloshed!
Me: My impression too. Did she take the paper form?
Replacement: Yeah, she filled it out at the desk, but then she handed it back to me.
Me: She seemed to think we actually keep them here or something.
Replacement: I told her she would have to mail it herself. I thought she was going to get belligerent, but she left, mumbling to herself, fumbling with her car keys, which she dropped on the stairs on her way out.
Woman: I was told you could help me. [usually not a good sign, that statement is, and her speech is slurred to boot--also not good]
Me: Okay, what do you need help with?
Woman: I need my credit report. They said you could get it for me. [oh, "they" did, did they?]
Me: We certainly have computers you can use to request your credit report online if--
Woman: I already tried to do it on the computer, at home, but it didn't work! [she's starting to get loud] They said you could just give it to me!
Me: The library doesn't have access to your credit report, but you're welcome to apply for your credit report on our computers. What didn't work when you tried at home?
Woman: It wanted a postal code! I didn't know what that was! So I called the post office and they didn't know either! They told me to come to the library because you would know and be able to give me my credit report! [thanks a lot, post office]
Me: Well, I think a postal code is just your zip code--
Woman: I tried that! I tried the long one and the short one and neither worked! I just want my credit report and I don't understand why it has to be this hard! It's just a credit report! [she's leaning heavily on the reference desk, and I'm hoping she doesn't fall over] And I tried to call the credit thing, but their number is disconnected!
I manage to get her onto a computer to fill out the free credit report request form. I can't smell alcohol on her, but I'm starting to wonder what's in the opaque water bottle she's clutching.
About 45 minutes pass, and she's standing at the printer...
Woman: What's wrong with this thing? It's not doing it!
Me: It's not printing? Hmm, there's nothing in the queue and it's not out of paper. Let's take a look at your computer.
Woman: I filled it out twice!
I'm able to figure out that she filled out most of the form, but never scrolled down to finish filling out the form and click to continue on to the next page. Unfortunately, she clicked on something else that took her away from the form and erased everything she already entered. She has done this twice. I suggest filling out the paper form and mailing it in, but she decides to try online again.
At the shift change, I tell my replacement that the woman's on her third attempt to request her credit report online. I had gone ahead and printed out the paper form, and I suggest that he try to convince her to take it home and mail it in if she's unsuccessful again with the computer.
I get back from dinner...
Me: So did that woman ever get her credit report?
Replacement: No, she lost the whole thing again. She was completely sloshed!
Me: My impression too. Did she take the paper form?
Replacement: Yeah, she filled it out at the desk, but then she handed it back to me.
Me: She seemed to think we actually keep them here or something.
Replacement: I told her she would have to mail it herself. I thought she was going to get belligerent, but she left, mumbling to herself, fumbling with her car keys, which she dropped on the stairs on her way out.
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