You Drove Here?

A woman approaches the reference desk...

Woman: I was told you could help me. [usually not a good sign, that statement is, and her speech is slurred to boot--also not good]

Me: Okay, what do you need help with?

Woman: I need my credit report. They said you could get it for me. [oh, "they" did, did they?]

Me: We certainly have computers you can use to request your credit report online if--


Woman: I already tried to do it on the computer, at home, but it didn't work! [she's starting to get loud] They said you could just give it to me!

Me: The library doesn't have access to your credit report, but you're welcome to apply for your credit report on our computers. What didn't work when you tried at home?

Woman: It wanted a postal code! I didn't know what that was! So I called the post office and they didn't know either! They told me to come to the library because you would know and be able to give me my credit report! [thanks a lot, post office]

Me: Well, I think a postal code is just your zip code--

Woman: I tried that! I tried the long one and the short one and neither worked! I just want my credit report and I don't understand why it has to be this hard! It's just a credit report! [she's leaning heavily on the reference desk, and I'm hoping she doesn't fall over] And I tried to call the credit thing, but their number is disconnected!

I manage to get her onto a computer to fill out the free credit report request form. I can't smell alcohol on her, but I'm starting to wonder what's in the opaque water bottle she's clutching.

About 45 minutes pass, and she's standing at the printer...

Woman: What's wrong with this thing? It's not doing it!

Me: It's not printing? Hmm, there's nothing in the queue and it's not out of paper. Let's take a look at your computer.

Woman: I filled it out twice!

I'm able to figure out that she filled out most of the form, but never scrolled down to finish filling out the form and click to continue on to the next page. Unfortunately, she clicked on something else that took her away from the form and erased everything she already entered. She has done this twice. I suggest filling out the paper form and mailing it in, but she decides to try online again.

At the shift change, I tell my replacement that the woman's on her third attempt to request her credit report online. I had gone ahead and printed out the paper form, and I suggest that he try to convince her to take it home and mail it in if she's unsuccessful again with the computer.

I get back from dinner...

Me: So did that woman ever get her credit report?

Replacement: No, she lost the whole thing again. She was completely sloshed!

Me: My impression too. Did she take the paper form?

Replacement: Yeah, she filled it out at the desk, but then she handed it back to me.

Me: She seemed to think we actually keep them here or something.

Replacement: I told her she would have to mail it herself. I thought she was going to get belligerent, but she left, mumbling to herself, fumbling with her car keys, which she dropped on the stairs on her way out.