Little Things This Week

Someone at the circ desk sent her down to the ref desk to ask if the library's security gates would damage her digital camera if she brought it in, because "the person down there is a computer expert." Thanks, circ desk!

He thinks he should get a longer loan period on his ILL (5 weeks minimum!) because he's a doctor and pays lots of taxes and has to drive 3 hours to get here, and he makes sure the whole library hears him yelling at the circ clerk and then at me. I Google him and find out he's a retired professor of finance.

She's demanding to talk to my coworker, who is not scheduled to be on desk today, because she needs his help with burning a CD. I tell her she'll have to wait until he's on desk next, which will be tomorrow, and offer her my help instead, but she declines because she's sure I wouldn't know how to help her. I don't feel bad about her having to wait until tomorrow to burn her CD.

Someone at the youth services desk sent a kid down for a book. I find it for her, but it's a Simpsons philosophy compilation and she wants Simpsons comics, so she's very disappointed and says coming downstairs was "a complete waste of time." Thanks, youth services desk!

He wants my help obtaining a Russian bride over the Internet. He's got one all picked out, but he can't figure out how to pay for her.

She wants local addresses for national airlines. She has been looking for a job for a long time and finally found the perfect one. On the other side of the country. It will be financially difficult for her to go there for an interview. So her plan is to write letters to the airlines asking for free or reduced airfare. She thinks a local office will be more likely to listen to her pleas. She's planning on writing hotels too, since she can't afford that either.

He's complaining about getting leg cramps from sitting at our computers too long. He has been here for hours. He says if he's having this problem at age 30, he doesn't want to know what age 40 will bring. Then he asks how late we're open and is happy to know he can stay for 3 more hours.

(In related news, someone slipped a comment into our suggestion box complaining that there are people who are here too much, sometimes even all day. The director noted that you wouldn't know who's here all day if you're not here all day too.)

You Drove Here?

A woman approaches the reference desk...

Woman: I was told you could help me. [usually not a good sign, that statement is, and her speech is slurred to boot--also not good]

Me: Okay, what do you need help with?

Woman: I need my credit report. They said you could get it for me. [oh, "they" did, did they?]

Me: We certainly have computers you can use to request your credit report online if--


Woman: I already tried to do it on the computer, at home, but it didn't work! [she's starting to get loud] They said you could just give it to me!

Me: The library doesn't have access to your credit report, but you're welcome to apply for your credit report on our computers. What didn't work when you tried at home?

Woman: It wanted a postal code! I didn't know what that was! So I called the post office and they didn't know either! They told me to come to the library because you would know and be able to give me my credit report! [thanks a lot, post office]

Me: Well, I think a postal code is just your zip code--

Woman: I tried that! I tried the long one and the short one and neither worked! I just want my credit report and I don't understand why it has to be this hard! It's just a credit report! [she's leaning heavily on the reference desk, and I'm hoping she doesn't fall over] And I tried to call the credit thing, but their number is disconnected!

I manage to get her onto a computer to fill out the free credit report request form. I can't smell alcohol on her, but I'm starting to wonder what's in the opaque water bottle she's clutching.

About 45 minutes pass, and she's standing at the printer...

Woman: What's wrong with this thing? It's not doing it!

Me: It's not printing? Hmm, there's nothing in the queue and it's not out of paper. Let's take a look at your computer.

Woman: I filled it out twice!

I'm able to figure out that she filled out most of the form, but never scrolled down to finish filling out the form and click to continue on to the next page. Unfortunately, she clicked on something else that took her away from the form and erased everything she already entered. She has done this twice. I suggest filling out the paper form and mailing it in, but she decides to try online again.

At the shift change, I tell my replacement that the woman's on her third attempt to request her credit report online. I had gone ahead and printed out the paper form, and I suggest that he try to convince her to take it home and mail it in if she's unsuccessful again with the computer.

I get back from dinner...

Me: So did that woman ever get her credit report?

Replacement: No, she lost the whole thing again. She was completely sloshed!

Me: My impression too. Did she take the paper form?

Replacement: Yeah, she filled it out at the desk, but then she handed it back to me.

Me: She seemed to think we actually keep them here or something.

Replacement: I told her she would have to mail it herself. I thought she was going to get belligerent, but she left, mumbling to herself, fumbling with her car keys, which she dropped on the stairs on her way out.

When No Other Candy Bar Will Do

The library's plumbing got clogged yesterday, specifically a pump for the four lower level restrooms, which caused some sort of emergency alarm to go off (ensuring that the director and the police were automatically called in). After some investigation, it was discovered that the reason for the clog was Snickers wrappers, which had apparently been flushed down one (or more) of the toilets. How many Snickers wrappers? Eight.

This is the second time this same pump has been clogged up with Snickers wrappers.