Thursday, March 27, 2008

Emergency!

While I was at the reference desk this morning, I answered a call from the partner of one of my coworkers. She told me she had been trying to call my coworker for 20 minutes, but her direct line was busy. She asked me to go to my coworker's office and tell her to hang up and call her partner's cell phone because it's really important. Well, okay. I can't make her to hang up, but I can pass on the message. So I wrote it down, walked back to my coworker's office, and handed the message to her with a shrug to indicate that I hadn't been told what exactly was so time-sensitive. She promptly called her partner and settled the very important matter that required immediate attention: which salad dressing to buy.

My head hurts.

Friday, March 21, 2008

There Are No Stupid Questions

"Will you be closed tomorrow because it's snowing a lot today?"

"The roads were really bad on my way here. They haven't plowed yet. Why are you open?"

"I'm supposed to attach my resume, but I don't have one. What should I do?"

"What do you put in to send an email to heaven?"

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

...And It Gets Worse

The stinky patron who confessed his feelings for me via email sent me a second email, even more disturbing than the first. Most of it made no sense, which is never, ever a good sign, but it's clear that he wants to have a sexual relationship with me ("stripped naked") and doesn't care if he gets in trouble for saying so ("make it public"). The rest is pretty much gibberish.

My director, being the fantastic director that he is (how dare he retire this summer!), emailed him a response, telling him the emails he had sent me were inappropriate and any further emails would be forwarded to the police. Dewey willing, that will put an end to this and he will never email me or enter the library again.

Thinking about how often I am the only staff member on my level of the library and how many times it's been just the two of us there when he's slow gathering his stuff together at closing...

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Oh Dear Dewey, No!

A patron I have previously complained about due to his stinkiness and annoying-ness has declared his love for me via email.

Let me back up. I went off to Vegas to get married a couple weeks ago. Prior to my leaving for my spectacular, superfun Elvis wedding, said patron came into the library nearly every day. I have not seen him since I've been back, just over a week now. I did find it odd, but awfully pleasant and stench-free. And then today I get this email, this totally disturbing and unwelcome confession, in which I am apparently Batgirl and he's Robin. He attached a comic of them kissing, and titled his email "Comic Book Heroine."

I'm so disturbed.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Poor Campaign Technique

Hey, I voted for Obama. I like him. I support him. But I really don't want to be peeling his stickers off of my books! What gives? What is wrong with you that you think you should be going through the library stacks and placing impossible-to-remove-without-chemicals-and-a-razor-blade "Obama '08" stickers over our spine labels? Go stick flyers in people's doors or something!