Paranoia

He thinks that someone is stealing his print jobs, and he wants us to do something about it. It is not possible, he says, that someone accidentally grabbed them when they picked up their own print jobs. And it is not even remotely possible that the print jobs in question never actually came out of the printer. Apparently this "has been a problem for years," and he "has heard other people complain about it too." He is very agitated about this and thinks that he's being specifically targeted for such thefts. It is a conspiracy!

He wants us to put up a sign telling people they can't take other people's print jobs. Like that will have any effect whatsoever, given that no one reads the other two signs by the printer.

Thanks a lot, buddy, for making me fill out an incident report about these "thefts" 5 minutes to closing.

I could tell him about the printer gremlins, who secret away the print jobs of the bad people who habitually don't pay for their extra pages, but he's paranoid enough that he might actually believe me.